literature

The Story of Lard Ass and Billy

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Literature Text

Let me tell you the story of Lard Ass.

Lard Ass was what everyone called her. She was about 400 pounds, and that's not exaggerating anything. She was also very lazy, and the thought of actually getting a job scared her. So instead of working she went out and met a man. Now most of you are more than likely thinking, "oh she found a rich man," or "oh she found a soldier," but those of you thinking this are wrong. No, instead she found herself a mentally disabled man.

Now this mentally disabled man wasn't stupid. He wasn't completely gone. He was just severally socially challenged. When it came to social aspects of life he didn't understand a lot of it. Not only that most girls never gave him the chance of day. Not the way Lard Ass did. We will call this disabled man, Billy.

Billy and Lard Ass started to talk and hang out together. Lard Ass sucked his disability check even then. She spent it all on herself, but Billy didn't mind. Billy loved seeing the only girl who ever showed him affection happy. One time Lard Ass even got jealous of someone and looked at him in a shitty way. Billy, scared that he had hurt Lard Asses feelings, held her close, kissed her and said, "You are so beautiful baby."

One day Lard Ass got bored of Billy. It was the day Billy's disability check was a lot smaller than it was before. So one day, Billy took Lard Ass out to eat. Lard Ass was really crying about how he never did things special for her anymore… You know… Because cooking for her, cleaning for her, getting her pets, and trying to find a job despite his mental disability so she didn't have to work, wasn't special enough for her.

As Lard Ass and Billy waited for their food Lard Ass saw an old ex of hers. Lard Ass smiled and Billy saw that she was smiling. Billy asked her, "Why are you smiling baby."

Lard Ass rolled her eyes at him and said, "I need to go to the bathroom."

Lard Ass lifted all 400 pounds or her fat self with her legs, and ventured to the bathroom. She did a little detour to her ex. They talked for a while. Lard Ass even looked over and saw Billy eating by himself. She laughed at him and joked with her ex about how much of a loser he was. Finally Lard Ass ended up leaving with her ex.

Billy was left there alone, until the sun had finally set. He went to call Lard Ass but she wouldn't answer his calls. Right before he got up to leave, he got a text saying "I want a divorce" and it was from Lard Ass.

With tears in his eyes, asking himself why he did wrong. Blaming himself for not doing enough for her, he went to the bathroom, took his tie, and hung himself from the bathroom stall. When Lard Ass heard of this happening there was no emotion in her beady eyes. No. She just told the person she was in a hurry to go out to eat and that she was hungry.

Be careful who you give your love to… You never know what they'll do with it.
Inspired by a wonderful bitch that I know who is cheating on her disabled husband. I hope she sees this so she can feel guilty for what she's doing. 
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